Breaking Patterns

One of last fall’s post for my friends over at PsychicsForetell

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Our thoughts have patterns.  Our thoughts can be made manifest when given our attention and energy.  Everything made by man started out as a idea.  A formless idea.  Our thoughts hold the potential to become something measurable through our actions, our words, and their effects can be seen in our health. Lately I’ve been working on breaking the patterns that don’t serve me well in thought, deed or health.

I have noticed I have a tendency to go a certain way mentally with certain triggers.  I’ve slowly been able to identify these triggers as I’ve upped my awareness game through meditation.   I’ve learned a lot about myself in silence.   I can be quick to anger and overly competitive. I perceive things as a personal challenge even when they aren’t meant to be a challenge (or personal!) at all.  It is how my mind works.  Anger is just my go to emotion.  Maybe it’s just that Aries thing.  I take things to a different level in my mind, a level way out of line from the actual situation.  I have sometimes feared for my sanity because I go that overboard in my mind.  And my anger usual settles into some form of anxiety when left unchecked.

When my mind begins to play out scenarios that get me ready for an imaginary duel or an act of vengeance, I have started to break the pattern using mantra.  One of my favorite mantras is Sa-Ta-Na-Ma from Kundalini practice.  Sa-Ta-Na-Ma is from Sat Nam or truth is my name.  I chose this one as Yogi Bhajan has taught that this mantra can help realign our thought patterns to be consistent with the truth that is the universal consciousness.  But I could really do just about anything to redirect my thoughts.  I just have been working on truth and integrity so this fit.  I recognize the trigger patterns and emotions arising and I begin my mantra, silently or out loud, until I am no longer present with the false emotion.  Sometimes it just takes a couple rounds.  Sometimes I need to be with it for a little longer.

I don’t want to waste my imagination and mental creativity on imagining ways to beat someone at something or getting ahead of something that may or may not be real.  I’ve lived long enough in this body on this earth to know that is a fantastic waste of a precious resource.  When I start feeling the anger and competitiveness creep into my internal dialogue, I pause and sit with it for a second.  Is it rational?  Usually it isn’t or at least not to the level that my Ram brain has taken it.  If there truly isn’t a need to feel anger, I’ll start my mantra.  If it is a protective anger, I look to use it to ignite an action but nothing more.  Anger and I have gotten too familiar in the past so it is important for me to know when the welcome is worn.

As I practice this, I am getting better with simply redirecting as soon as I recognize it.  But sometimes I’m stubborn (Aries!), and so there are times I still have to force the redirection.  It is what it is.  But I have noticed I am much happier than I was when I allowed myself free reign with my anger and the anxieties it brings with it.  Since most of the affronts were perceived and not really out there, the anger I’d let grow wouldn’t have a real outlet and would trickle into other areas of life.  I’d be a little sharper with the next person I encountered.  I’d unconsciously try to pick a fight elsewhere so I could let it out.  Or I’d keep it inside and actually feel sick.  It is a vicious cycle and a needless one.  So I’m breaking it and this is what has worked for me.  I’m curious, what has worked for you?  Please share below.

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Healing Journey: Flow the Ebbs

One of last summer’s posts for the fine folks at Nourishing Storm

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There is a rhythm to life. A divine order to all the movement in the universe. We share these rhythms with the universe and we each have our own. We find our heart’s song when we find our flow within these rhythms.

The way of our world doesn’t always go with this flow. This world wants to move forward on warp speed and has us thinking that is how our journey should look as well. But when we look to the natural rhythm we see we don’t move on a linear path. Nature and our souls flow on a spiral. Circling around while still on the path of evolution.

We experience these ebbs and flows much like our natural world. The waves and tides rolling like our breath. The waxing and waning of the moon, the rising and setting of the sun, the choreography of the stars across the night sky like the phases, cycles and seasons of our own lives.

Unlike our natural world, we try to control our ebbs and flows. We usually pay more attention to the ebbs. Where we feel like our progress is halted or reversed. That downward spin of the spiral, we resist. We resist the waning period of our lives. We resist the the dark times. We don’t swim in the low tides.

The cycles and spirals are the way of life. Always moving towards adapting and evolving with the new energies at play. The universe, the galaxy, the Earth all constantly contracting and expanding like our lungs, like our pulse, like all our vital signs of life. It is no coincidence that we share these rhythms and no coincidence that being in nature can call us back into rhythm. Yet still we resist the ebbs. We forget that even as they pull upon our hearts, we are still moving within a greater flow. That is the flow we must connect with. That is the flow that carries us through to a greater awareness and sense of purpose and order in our lives. It is subtle. It is almost imperceptible, especially in the midst of what feels like a spiritual recession. That there still could be a stream of abundance found in the waning periods and new moons of life seems impossible. And it probably is if we only look for a linear path to self actualization or if our progress is only measured against fixed, external mile markers that we had no hand in making.

But that is not how life works. And we know this. There must be an up for every down and a give for every take. When we resist our contraction, we limit our expansion. We can move through the downs with grace when we allow our soul to be unbound from the rigid limits of a linear path. When we remember we don’t move that way. When we dance along the infinite spiral, we see there is always a flow.

“Dreaming, dreaming, sleeping, awakening –
Rhythms of darkness and light.
Day and night, night and day, wondering . . .
Who am I? Who AM I?

Who is morphing through this
Ever-shifting flow?
Beloved, wake up!
Dance in your true body before time,
Shimmering energy without end.”
Radiance Sutras – Lorin Roche

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Punching a Higher Floor

A fall post I wrote for the good people at PsychicsForetell.  

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If in the end we are all on one team, who are we trying to get ahead of? And how has money become the way ahead? If all the money was evenly distributed and all resources shared equally among us, what could we build? If we weren’t competing but instead collaborating, what could we imagine together? What would our costs to live look like? What would cost even mean?

We say things like “time is money”. Time is much greater than money. We have a system that forces too many to sell their time at a fraction of what it is worth. Everyone’s time is priceless. No one’s time is more valuable than anyone else’s. Our time with our friends, our time with our families, our time alone, our time here on Earth. Priceless. Not a single one of us has a contract with time. No one is guaranteed another single second. But so many have to trade it for a piece of paper that actually, literally holds no real value. How can a system that values money over life be sustainable?

Time is the real commodity. And our time should be spent in service, sharing our particular light with our families, our communities, and our world. Our technology should be used to bring us together, not distract us from our lives. Why does making a living that nourishes our souls and makes the world a better place at the same time seem so far out of reach for most of us? Why do so many of us have to do work that is meaningless to us for companies that see us as resources instead of THE SOURCES that we are?

I wonder, how do we change this system? How do we dismantle it and rebuild a better one? We are capable, of that I’m sure. And we have certainly the numbers. So where do we begin?

With such a spiritual group, I am wondering how we can begin the process of making a more sustainable and equitable system so people have the time to truly share their light with this world. That is why we are here after all. Not for the dollar bill, not for a ride to the ground floor. We are here to raise each other up. Why does that seem so hard to do? I want to know: How do you believe this shift begins? Let’s start building something better.

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It’s Not Eagles vs Patriots


my prayer flags blew over the fence. truly righteous prayers recognize no boundaries.

it isn’t a flag that unites us. no song can make us one.

i understand why Colin kneels. that is how i pray too.

true patriots seek to unite.

#philadelphiaeagles #nfl #flagsandprayers #thewayibee #feelthemusic

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Feel the Music

The following is a quote by my nephew.  Today is the first anniversary of his passing. 

I know his soul lives on, I feel it every now and again.  Hear it.  See it.  But I can’t see him in body, and I cry every day.  I cry for myself and the world’s loss.  Not for him.  For him, I smile.  I know he is free.  

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“With an unrelenting commitment to experience and understand life’s greatest moments, I challenge myself and others from all walks of life to embrace our differences, accept our past and present, and follow the music of life to a place where the only thing greater than our achievements is the pride we feel looking back on them…  Feel the Music”

Larry Ahn, Jr.

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Healing Journey: Develop ~ The Long View

March’s post for the fine folks at Nourishing Storm.  I usually post these way after the fact but in honor of the anniversary of the Hinkie Manifesto, the inspiration behind this post, here it is early 🙂

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Development isn’t something that just happens.  It is a process. It’s not a one and done deal. It requires vision, trust and time.

These days we want everything now. Technology has offered us so much so fast.  And our culture pressures us to move as fast as technology can take us. We may be tempted to trade the opportunity of manifesting our entire vision for one piece we can touch right now.  If we truly believe in our vision, we are willing caretakers of its evolution for however long it takes.

Time is key to the quality of all we seek to develop; whether it be a photograph, a story, an NBA basketball team, a life.  This post took time to develop as I let the theme marinate and its meaning to me evolve. Had I wrote what first came to mind, I would have written a few pages about old school film development.  But sitting with it, the pages boiled down to one sentence.  We had to wait for the full richness and complexity of the light captured on this photographic paper to reveal itself, all the while not knowing if we got the shot we desired.  Trust and time.

We never can be fully certain of the outcome of any of our efforts.  But we can be sure of the integrity of our efforts. If we can shift our focus from the outcome to the process, we begin to see more ways there come to light.  Ways that would have never been seen had we not held the view long enough to see them.

“We’ve been on a path to build something special. We’re planting seeds to have an orchard. Some would have us go out and buy apples. But we want to build the whole orchard.” ~ Sam Hinkie

I am somewhere in the middle of my life story and I’m still painting my masterpiece.  I’m still building my orchard.   By the world’s clock, I’m behind schedule. But what vital wisdom, insight and experiences might I have missed had I tried to force myself to become me on the world’s time instead of my own?

Trusting the process and taking the long way home gave way to the collateral cultivation of a sustainable source of patience, grit, and tenderness in my soul.  All things that have enriched my life in ways I never really stopped to consider until now. I still don’t know for sure how things will unfold for me or for anyone else.  But I do know the end will be revealed in its own time. And that we are worth the wait.

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Healing Journey: Freedom – None But Ourselves

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Freedom cannot be given to you and neither can be it be taken away. It isn’t a right or a privilege. It cannot be granted. Not true freedom.

True freedom has nothing to do with politics, religion or money though there are some who may hope we believe it does. Holding on to true freedom in this world requires a constant bravery. Exercising true freedom requires a commitment to truth and integrity. And understanding true freedom requires a deep reverence for all life and a deep respect for ourselves. Freedom cannot be bought or sold, it cannot be taught or learned. But like all precious Truths, freedom must be realized.

In the discovery that we are each our own, we find our freedom. When we realize we are not like anyone else and our freedom will not look like anyone else’s, when we understand that we are under no obligation to be anything but ourselves, that is freedom. An empowering freedom because it is completely our own. No one can take it. No one can wake us up to it or bring us to our fullest potential either.   And there are some who may feel more powerful if we stay asleep.

When we realize our freedom lies within and we open up to it, we open to the true power of being ourselves. The power in being willing to follow our hearts and souls through this life. When we are not preoccupied with others’ perceptions or judgments we can be fully occupied with our own inspiration and imagination. And suddenly, our whole world may change. For true freedom lives where the liberated mind and courageous heart unite.

If, right now, you feel alone and unfree, if you have not discovered your freedom, I beg you to look again. In some place deep within your boundless soul, you know you are your own. Maybe it was hidden away, maybe you let it slip or maybe you were told it does not exist for you. But it is there. This untouchable place where you know you are whole and you are enough. Where you understand that you are the stars. It is there. Look. Within you.  When you find it, you will know that all that has happened to you, all that has been taken from you, all that you have survived, my dear, is all just part of your story. And if or when you have fear for what comes next, remember it is you who holds the pen. It is you, with your own heart and your own mind, who gets to decide.  When you remember this superpower of yours, you will understand your freedom.   

Loka Samasta Sukhino Bhavantu: May all beings everywhere be happy and free, and may the thoughts, words, and actions of my own life contribute in some way to that happiness and to that freedom for all.

 

 

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