Showing My Work: Anatomy of a Post on Desire

Posted on February 12, 2016 by the.way.i.bee

The following is a compilation of multiple attempts at finding the heart of my previous post on Desire.  I do this for every post, mostly with themes I struggle finding one direction to follow….  So I figured I’d post the free writing – these pieces are my direct writings mostly done after meditation.  Showing my work again.  So here are the scattered threads I used to weave my piece on desire….and you can see where it led below….  

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Desire Unfiltered

 

1st session:  I stopped listening to my desires and started giving ear to my fears.  I lived in the backdrop of my worries.  Hearing only what I feared would happen if I did or did not do.  Missing the moment happening now and all the possible wisdom it was expressing to me, wisdom possibly imparted for my soul’s journey.

We are funny that way sometimes, right?  We get caught up in laying plans based on imagined scenarios, missing the scene actually unfolding before our eyes.  Another moment past that we didn’t take our eyes off what may never be to give life our full attention.  See the love before our eyes.  Always searching for ways to discredit the magic and foresee the tragic in our lives, we miss the signs.  The signs each moment brings us to remember our deepest desire for ourselves, our truest intention that leads us to becoming our authentic selves.

Yes plans and sometimes worries are realistic.  sometimes.  and sometimes there is bliss to be felt right now and we have to give ourselves over to it.  don’t we?

When we find ourselves off track, we need only to stop and listen.  Our lives are speaking to us in a fluid dance, in rhythm to the beats of our hearts.  Coaxing us to let go of what holds us back.  Pull our sights from whatever lies beyond, trusting for now the dreams we’ve made for ourselves are out there.  then jumping into the dance with full abandon.

That tiny voice in each of our hearts is crooning, open our heart to each moment and amplify, have deep faith and speak graciously of who we love and don’t forget to love everyone.  Fall in love with life, be grateful for you – someone capable of making the decision in this moment to live the life you desire from right now.

2nd session: So I’m listening. now.  Meditating as I write.  Write this free form brainstorm, yes STORM, this wild storm, no clear direction.  Just serving as fodder for my real post.  Only right now I’m thinking, maybe this isn’t fodder.  This process.  Maybe I should leave it be what it is.  BEcause right now in this moment, I’m inspired and motivated and I’m just going to show all my wild ways of writing, expressing my breakdown of what desire’s voice sounds like on this journey of mine…..

Desires are only meant to be glimpsed, not gazed upon.  Glimpsed just long enough to allow our mind’s eye to see it in our lives as real for a moment.  Try it on.  Tap in.   Just a peek to serve as inspiration which will grow to motivation.

Then back to the present moment with trust in ourselves and faith that the world won’t let us down when we go for it.  Like in yogic practice, I translate desire like this.  Trusting my strength to go for the full backbend with my heart wide open, inspired and attuned to the rhythm of the breath of all life.  Present and rooted to the ground, full faith it will always hold me, always support me.  That moment, that vibration I feel when I nail my most desired pose.  The bliss in attainment that is in harmony with that wild faith and intangible knowing.  Faith.  Faith rooting my soul in Love.  Then I see.  I see the love in the world is also the love in myself.  It is all good.  My ultimate desire. That peaceful bliss, I want it.  But how do I attain it? To live in resonance to that ultimate bliss – which for me is that sweet vibration of unconditional love – what must I do?

I tap in to this desire, just long enough to juice up my inspiration and uplift/ignite my heart’s motivation.  Then unplug.  Let go of my desire for now and be still and listen.  In this new moment, with the heart attuned to gratitude for the love in my life right now.  Keeping that frequency of unconditional love alive.  The only way to expand my heart’s capacity is to open to its leadings.  Understanding now with my newest ears that the love I see in the world can only equal the love I share in the world.

3rd session:  Desire in practice.  Release your grip on fear.  If it doesn’t reside in the visceral, if it isn’t rooted in some real danger, it is surviving at much too high of a frequency.  Shut that shit down.   It’s trying to hijack love’s station or at least it throws some static.  Once fear is out of range, be your love.  Be you.  Be love.  Look to desire for direction but follow Love.

4th session:  Frequency of desire – strip it to down.  If it vibrates at the frequency of love, hold it.  If the desire sits in the range of fear, have or have not, or exists and is in tune with some negativity, like a desire for revenge, drop it entirely.  It is false desire.  It is seductive in its safety or in its satisfaction, but offers no growth, no sustainable truth.  If it has resonance with that good good frequency, the universal divine, sing with it.  Know the tune of your fear just enough to recognize it and change the dial back to love.  Fear can have a catchy tune… don’t listen too long.

Follow the love – live, think, act in accordance with that vibration and tune into your heart’s song until it sinks into your bones, seeps into your soul.  Imagine that feeling of attainment but temper it by amplifying the gratitude in the present moment.  The imagination when used correctly is full of inspiration.  When it connects to the present and doesn’t carry us off to spend our energy on something false.  Imagination of a higher frequency, closer to the divine, is imagination used well.  Fear at this higher level is always unfounded but powerfully palpable.  Fear never serves us well up here.

So desire isn’t bad unless it is.   We must discern its truth within us and choose whether we allow it to continue to drive us.  It can take us where we want to go.  We just need clearness that where we want to go is moving us towards our truth and not away from it…. if i live my truth, there is nothing more to be desired…

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Ommm Desire: Know Your Heart

Posted on February 5, 2016 by the.way.i.bee

Here is February’s Nourishing Storm theme post on desire.  Go see what all’s doing over at the Storm.

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My view on this month’s theme is conflicted. Desire. It drives me towards my goals. But one of my of spiritual goals is to be desireless. How can this be reconciled? In digging deeper and reading for inspiration, I stumbled upon a post that spoke directly to my condition.  I believe I found my reconciliation.

Desire is a bit of a double edged sword. On one hand it serves to motivate and excite me, propelling me to new depths of spirit and heights of emotion. But desires when overindulged can create holding patterns in my life. Desires can lead to addiction and continued instant gratification of desires can leave me stuck in a rut on my journey of growth. Addiction and constant instant gratification. One hijacks the body and dulls the soul and the other decays gratitude and interrupts the dialogue with my heart.

So it would seem I either find myself ignited by desire or consumed. And even if I utilize the energy of desire for its purpose, a call to action, I can still go astray. These motivating desires if allowed to play too long with the imagination can wreak a havoc of their own. Visiting dreams too long can begin to be comfortable and more enticing than reality at times. The desire can become an escape instead of a direction. Or if I let desire carry me away in my mind to the point where the next step isn’t foreseeable, my most noble and worthy desires can become tainted by worry and fear. So I must linger only long enough to light the flame. When utilized correctly, the desire that inspires and motivates does just that and I feel renewed in purpose and focus, and determined and excited to make it happen.

But again, on the other edge of the sword, the easily overindulged desires – usually temporary and visceral – cannot be always denied. They need to be recognized, accepted, and some occasionally fed. These desires aren’t bad unless in feeding them I give my power away or I weaken my integrity or harm another. Some do none of these things. At its best, feeding a spontaneous desire could lead to blissful moments of pure love and presence.

Desires are as multidimensional as people. To master the art of sustained passion in my life hinges greatly upon the wisdom to discern which passions are sustainable. Which desires resonate with my most authentic self? Which open my heart to feed my soul? And which, once fed, bring peace and gratitude? Yes, I must feed these desires and feed them well.

I see the balance clearly now. My reconciliation. A pure desire, one that can exist in my heart in harmony with my truest self, will amplify appreciation in my life. And once fulfilled, it will bring a clarity and bliss that transcends all desire.

We mustn’t wish to be desireless but wish to live passionately. We can measure our desires by the test of our Truths. And in the quiet moments of reflection at the end of the day, if we have given our souls food that endures, food with true and deep sustenance, that small voice that speaks in the silence will sing to us of Love. And our hearts will answer back in kind.

Dream madly with Love in your heart, wild darling.   “The desire to know your own soul will end all other desires.” Rumi

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Ommm Listen: In Silence the Heart Speaks

Posted on January 27, 2016 by the.way.i.bee

The first of 2016’s posts for the Nourishing Storm blog.  This year, I’m trying something new.  In hopes of a more organic development of a personal yogic practice, I am finding out the theme only when I hit the month it is in.  I’m hoping this will bring both a new depth to my practice and allow me to connect with the theme without looking to build to the next – connect in the present.  I may soon post some free writing on the themes as a behind the scenes look into the making of each post….  Stay tuned…  And in the meantime, check out Nourishing Storm’s site to see what these magic beings are up to.

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I’ve decided not to make a resolution this new year. Resolutions are too stiff, too do or don’t do, too black or white. There is no room to grow or flow inside them. Instead I’ve decided to make this a year long practice. Make this a year of action.

This new year, in lieu of a resolution, I am setting an intention for my practice. My intention is to center myself and my actions on unconditional love and see where it leads. I strive to approach each new moment with an open heart and a centered mind. To follow the light in my life and allow room to accept the love life offers.

My very first step in this practice is to listen. To listen more softly, without my own thoughts molding what I hear. Listen without judgment. I will listen so that I may be more pure in my response. Listen compassionately so that I will have no cause to regret an ill spoken word.

I plan to tune into my intention every day – at least once, hopefully more. But I give myself a little grace because I know how some days can be. So long as I am mindful more often than not, I’m good with that. I will choose not to dwell on my shortcomings but appreciate my growth.

I’ve been listening to my old doubts and fears long enough; I’d like to hear from my authentic loving self now please. I’m looking to expand my faith in this Higher Love, because I know it exists. When I sit quietly enough, I can hear it. When I listen for the love in each moment, I speak, I act, and I live with more love. Plain and simple.

Only love whispers sometimes and can easily be lost in the day’s noise. And love only speaks the truth, which quite honestly isn’t something I always want to hear. It may not always be easy, but I know I can never go wrong choosing love. So that is my intention. Listening openly to everything that is said and unsaid, with a tenderness for whoever is speaking including myself.

This is just the very first step. To listen for the underlying truth spoken in each moment. To listen to my own truth in each moment and go on from there. To forgive myself when it leads to a less than stellar moment on my behalf. Because it will happen. Lord knows it will happen.   Maybe I’ll have a moment when I’m feeling angry. I may stop and check in with my inner truth and, yep, still angry.   I may even have a few choice words to say about my feelings. That’s okay. This isn’t a make it or break it kind of deal. This is only the first movement towards manifesting my intention of cultivating the love in my life. And when it comes time in my practice, I’ll work on responding. But for right now, I’ll start with listening. As Paul Tillich wrote, “the first duty of love is to listen”. I’m all ears.

I invite you to join me in setting an intention for a year long yogic practice. Letting the themes and poses of each month build upon each other and become a flow for a daily practice. Establishing a daily routine where you can reconnect to your intention, whatever it might be. If you have trouble deciding on your intention for the year keep it open and listen for bit. The wisdom of your heart may surprise you.

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Ommm Wisdom: Through the Eyes of an Owl

Posted on December 10, 2015 by the.way.i.bee

Last of 2015’s monthly theme blog for the fabulous folks at Nourishing Storm. Go check out the community these amazing peeps have created.

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Here we are. The last stretch of the wheel of the year. Into winter we go, deeper into the darkness. When the light outside wanes, the light within ourselves must ignite. But have we learned the way to ignite the light within?

Yes. I believe we have. Over this year we have learned much about ourselves. We have turned our focus within, zeroed in on our constant Truth. The internal and eternal place that makes us who we are and understands we are divine. And with this recognition we sit and we connect and become one with our highest self. Our Truth becomes our North Star, our intrinsic drishti.

Having found our core we build upon it. We are strengthened in mind, body and spirit in this space. We begin to appreciate this connection and see the beauty in life. Both the blissful and enduring beauty that is plain to our sight as well as the heart wrenching and raw beauty that life presents. This beauty is harder to see when in the midst of life’s storms, but the compassion and gratitude it inspires is no less than beautiful. More beautiful that this is being in a place within ourselves that allows this view.

With renewed inspiration, we eagerly move forward into life with an enthusiasm born of understanding our authentic selves, getting right within. Getting cool with us just as we are and with life just as it is. As we have sat with who we are, we have surely examined our flaws. Maybe we have let our focus slip to hone in on how these flaws will our affect our future or how we have developed these flaws from times past. It is easy to lose sight of ourselves here and give energy to things we can’t ever control.

But we have also developed a persistence that redirects us back to our North Star, we get right again and wake up to the present moment. The only moment where we can take action, take control, exercise our power. The depth of our power is fully realized when we understand how truly powerless we can be. Knowing how that feels on us, this powerlessness. We move forward vowing never to take the power of another and fiercely protecting the power of our own. Centered on this compassionate Truth, we can accept and forgive the faults in others and within ourselves and more genuinely engage with life.

But life has its way of switching the tempo on us and we have to adjust to find our balance again. Same as before, we look to the North Star, remember where we are, accept what we are and be who we are. We anchor back into this constant Truth and dive back into life, back into the moment. We can only give our energy to what holds our attention. And we can only do something, do anything in the present moment. We reawaken, fully minded in the now. And the now may be wonderful or painful, crazy or lazy. But when we open our eyes to the present moment, we see this moment is everything.

The past we see as pictures, the future like a movie we create. But the present moment, is the only moment in our lifetime that is live. And knowing this, we recognize the abundant promise the present holds. We understand and are more deeply rooted in who we are, what we love in our lives, about our lives and we begin to live from this place. Anchored in again, we expand. Solid in our footing, we reach higher. Confident in our steps, we can begin to dance with life. And life tests just how sure we are of our steps sometimes. Another tempo change. Another search for true north. If we know we are centered and aligned with Love and Compassion, we can find a way again to bend with life. Through compassionate love of others and of ourselves, unconditional and unshakeably faithful love, we can be with any reality and we can come through any reality, just as we are.

We have learned to be flexible and resilient and we have allowed the stretch of our faith in that Divine force that resides in each of us. And our faith sparks in the darkness. It is born from our innate wisdom. Wisdom gained from living with an openness and an honesty. We know we got this, because this little slice of life can only be got by us. The perfect wisdom is earned when we accept the challenge of life knowing full well we will stumble again and with grace in our hearts, believe in us, in all of us, anyway.

The spark ignites. Yes, we have learned. We, like the eye of an owl, must be open to see in the darkness. Released from our doubts and fears, forgiving of our faults and mistakes, eyes wide open and set on the present, we can create a light of our own. The more we open our hearts to life, the more light we find and the more clearly we can see that we are all Divine.

Our wisdom comes from the knowledge of our authentic selves, knowing our own beauty and knowing our own darkness. We apply our wisdom when we seek to live in a way true to what know, accepting all the while that we are still learning. Go within this winter and nourish your inner light and strengthen your roots so you can shine freely in each moment, grounded and centered in your Truth in the new year.

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Ommm Resilience: The Way of the Willow

Posted on November 8, 2015 by the.way.i.bee

Monthly theme blog written for the awesome folks at Nourishing Storm.  This month’s theme was written last month where the anniversary of a great loss influenced my thoughts on resilience.  This post is dedicated to the memory of Gavin Wolfe and with love to everyone still bending in the wake.

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I have this theory about life. What it’s all about. I’ve spent more than my fair share of time soul searching, wondering what this pretty ordinary existence is culminating towards. Isn’t that what I am supposed to be figuring out? My endgame? My destination? That’s what I used to think, what I used to try to figure out.

Thing is, life is about right now. That’s it. What comes tomorrow comes. Hell, maybe it doesn’t. We all have our own journey through life. And I’ve spent so much of it trying to figure out where it’s leading. Where I should be by now. And, really, where should I be now? Probably exactly where I am.   That’s where my focus should be anyways.

Life is liquid. It’s always moving and it doesn’t stop for anyone or anything. My individual life is my own little chunk of this great source and is all mine to do with what I will. My own life is also fluid. So that big life has its ebbs and flows, tides high and low. And so does my little life. I try my best to stay in synch, in rhythm with the world. Which I can’t do unless I know my own beat, my own pace. So I start there.

I have to know who I am. Who I am when it’s high tide and the sun is shining and who I am when the tide is low and it’s pouring rain. I have to know my strength and power and so life tests me. And I’ve gotten tangled up in the waves. I’ve found my breath again and thought of swimming back to an old shore or forcing myself into the next set of waves knowing I’m not ready to take them on. In these moments, I have more recently figured out I may need to float for a bit. Be where I am. Remember who I am.

It’s like that on the yoga mat for me too. Sometimes I need to fold and restore.   Sometimes I need to get into child’s pose. Because I know me. Because I know my breath isn’t there and I know my mind is wandering and I know even if I do get up into tree or crow or whatever pose is supposed to be next, it will be a waste of my energy if I’m not there with it.

I think that was the hardest thing for me to get. Restorative poses seem too nice to be productive, right? It seems like an indulgence. I have a handstand to conquer. But no. I’ll never get my handstand down if I don’t sort out all the things that keep me off balance on the mat.

And I’ll never be able to make the swim for any shore if I don’t take care of me. That just is what it is. I have to exhale. Sometimes I have to fold. Get quiet, get focused, connect and inhale. Then I can move on.

And maybe life decides to throw another wave in my face. But I’ve dealt with these waves for some time now. I know I get through them best when I move with them. Every wave that has knocked me down, left me with a little more grace for myself when the next set rolls through. With that grace, I give a little. I’m not as rigid. Not as hard on myself (or others for that matter). And that next wave feels more like a ripple when it hits. With my head above water, letting the tides roll with me, life is beautiful. I find new strength with each wave I master. I feel unstoppable.

And then the world drops something big into my waters. And the wake catches me off guard. I sink into the dark waters wondering if I have the strength to swim to any shore. Maybe I do and maybe I don’t but in this moment I’ll be damned if I don’t try.

In the midst of the downward spiral, the closer to the center I stay, the more room I have to move within. Again, like on the yoga mat . . . The closer I hold my own center and move from there, the further I go. When I focus on my Truth, I’m centered. When I cut myself some slack, my center expands making it easier to find my balance. I need the slack to allow for the sways. And I need the sways to stretch myself. To be flexible so I can go a little further.

Off the mat and back in the water, in the midst of the largest loop of the spiral that whips me to my edges, I need to bend to keep from snapping in two. It is these moments where everything is swirling and nothing is steady, I must find my beat, find my breath and my rhythm – yes, my drishti, my center, my Truth – and let the waters bend me however they may. And I must have faith I can bend as far as it will take me.

I have to stretch my heart open to life – fully in it – good, bad or indifferent, it is what it is only for this moment.   I mean, that’s why we stretch, isn’t it? To go further, to go beyond our previous limits. There’s some good dirt to mine in outskirts of myself. I’d never know any of it, if I wasn’t willing to bend. And the more I bend, the softer my edges.   The easier it is to stay open, no matter what rolls through next. The deeper my bends the smaller my sways. The more sure I am of my center.

Yeah, so I figure that’s what life’s about. These moments that take us to the craziest places. These moments that take us further. Further within and further without. Moments where we exhale and fold. Get right with ourselves. And moments when we breathe in and let life expand us.   And making room for moments where we can to swim in the familiar calm waters of the middle ground. It takes all these moments to make a life. We’ve all been there with our joy and there with our pain. There with our fear and anger and there with our trust and love.   Bending and flowing through it all.   Been there and done that.   And here we are. Here. We are resilient. No doubt in my mind about that.

Stay grounded in your center so you have the room around you to swim in life’s waters. To roll with the waves and find new shores. Bend when you think you will break and fold when you think you must quit.   Soften your edges, stretch your limits and live true each moment.   You can handle the ebbs and flows. You got this far, dear resilient soul. Keep going.

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Showing my work: 

Posted on October 14, 2015 by the.way.i.bee

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Breathe deep. Autumn’s air. Same as always. Smokey and thick with a crisp finish. 

Same familiar autumn air I would draw in as a young girl. I remember her wild way with this season as I smell  fall’s cologne. That girl is not gone from me. The girl in love with fall.   She is with me still.   I’ve just cultivated her into the girl I am now.   And she’ll no doubt stay as I grow some more. 

The crisp aftertaste lingers. Winter is not far behind. Me and my girl have some pruning to do. 

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Ommm Abundance: Love is What I Got

Posted on October 8, 2015 by the.way.i.bee

Here’s the latest blog written for the wonderful folks over at Nourishing Storm.  Besides offering the community a place to get your yoga on, they will be offering up smoothies, juices and sammies you feel good about eating at their new cafe on Oct 24th!

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Lately my practice has been focused on power and balance. Writing about these two themes over the last two months was really difficult for me. Probably because these are two themes I struggle with in life – my power and my balance. With so much transition and change in my life lately, it has been hard to keep my balance.

I had finally worked up enough courage and strength to take a chance on myself. I discovered my true power when I made the executive decision to be my most authentic self and live accordingly. I decided to follow my truth and not apologize for it or make excuses or feel selfish when the change made waves in my life.

In the moment of exercising my power, without knowing, I changed my entire life. And when the reality of that change hit, I fell down hard. It’s like I disturbed the forces. But when I was getting tossed around in the waves, I realized I finally had grabbed the oars and I needed to start steering!

So now I’m steering my ship and in all the confusion I notice I had lost my bearings. I didn’t have my sea legs on and I couldn’t find my balance. I needed to stop looking for the shore I hope to land on and just be in the boat I’m in. Stop, rest, restore. Center myself back to what I do know and not what remains out of sight. Ground into my new digs and adjust. Balance. Simple as that. And the crazy thing is, during every chaotic moment, I had access to this practice. I had the ability to stop and sit in my new skin and the new space I created.

But these chaotic moments didn’t feel good, I didn’t want to sit in my boat. Maybe because my boat was filled with all the people I drug on there with me and they all wanted to know where I was taking them. So instead of being present in my boat, I set my focus on where I was trying to go. But I didn’t know where I was. So I panicked. I started focusing on all the things I needed to get on my boat to make everything okay. Thinking out all the next steps and how things will be alright once I have this, this and this. But I didn’t take stock of what I already had.

Here, through it all, I see I had all I needed. I just didn’t have an abundance of faith in my new self. But in the end, it will be that faith that brings me abundance. I see that now. Abundance is all perspective. When I can view the present moment and have faith in my changed self who is only now coming to understand her power, when I have that, I am already living in abundance.

The freedom of allowing my heart to be open in any situation, acting from my centered self even in times where I want to hit fast forward, and accepting who I am as I am is the greatest gift I have given myself. I know I won’t get it all right. But in the quiet moments when I am alone with my thoughts, I’m cool with the company I keep. And that’s plenty enough for me.

Check in with yourself daily. Think of three things you are thankful for each day. Somes days you may just be grateful the day is over and you survived. When you start to look for these things to be grateful for, you begin to cultivate an eye for the beauty in the world which in turn feeds your heart and keeps it open. Take stock of what you have in life – your truth, your strength, your love. Know what you have, you have in abundance.

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Radio Check

Posted on September 19, 2015 by the.way.i.bee

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Can you hear me?  Now?  Right now, can you hear me?  Are you with yourself right now?

Yeah, your body is there.  But where’s your mind?  Is it with you right now?  Or is it thinking about some other day?  Or just someplace else.

When was the last time you checked in with yourself?  With your reality?  Daydreaming about possibilities is fine and good.  Just make sure you are with yourself the day those dreams come true.  Live fully the moment.

So.  What’s your frequency, Kenneth?  Change the dial.

Can you hear me now? . . .  Breathe.

Yeah, I hear me now.

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Ommm Balance: Rooting to Find your Center

Posted on September 3, 2015 by the.way.i.bee

Originally posted on Nourishing Storm’s monthly theme blog.  See what these wonderful peeps are up to this month by clicking here.

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I love that feeling when I own my power in a yoga pose. When I am in it and everything is working together – it feels effortless. I’m connected and it’s beautiful. I feel strong and there is an excitement as I realize I nailed it. I am right there with it, completely present and aware of my entire being. If I catch a glimpse of something that distracts me, I persistently bring my focus back to the pose and remain in control of myself. Remain in power. Whatever is going on in my mind, in my heart, in the world, doesn’t matter. These pulls on my attention have found peace with each other in that moment and I am in balance.

In the space of my practice, on the mat in the studio, I am in a perfect environment to find my balance. The music and colors set the stage for the experience. The people encouraging and supportive, each of us working our own magic while sharing a unified flow. This regular yoga practice calibrates my soul. In this space, I work out my stuff. Maybe today I need strong arms, tomorrow I need an open heart, the next day I need to bend more freely. Sometimes it is challenging. Sometimes I need props. During times of movement, I may need to set my gaze to that still point, my drishti. I end my practice, laying in savasana, allowing that feeling to integrate into my being in hopes to carry it with me as I hop into the flow of life. I roll up the mat and off I go back into my world.

My world, like most worlds, doesn’t offer up the perfect soundtrack for peaceful living or the levelest terrain to balance upon. I’ve been blown off course by tragedies and by triumphs. Sometimes my world plays full on rage metal and offers up mountains with jagged rocks to climb. Instead of my awesome yoga peeps, I may have to share my company with the people who find joy in my failures. Other times, carried by sheer enthusiasm I may set sail with the winds on my side with my sights set on the new shores, not seeing who is swimming in my waters. Whatever the blockage or distraction, whether it is good or bad, in this fluid world, I need balance.

And in the world, as in my yoga practice, I find balance in much the same way. Whether I’m wobbling out of my tree pose or trying to find my way through life’s storms, I look for my drishti. On the mat it is a just a spot on a wall or the floor while in life I look for an unshakeable Truth about myself. I bring my focus to its stillness and align my body, mind and soul to its steady frequency. Regardless of my movements or my terrain, my drishti is fixed and rooted.   With my attention on my constant, I can sort myself out.

Balance isn’t about being level or equal. It is about adjusting.   It isn’t about stopping or being still either though that would surely be ideal. It is about being aware of that uncompromising, authentic piece of myself and shifting my perspective so I can view the world in the moment from that place.

My internal drishti is my centering force. Despite not ever being in the same place I was before, my center will always be my center. No matter how many moving parts are involved, I can find balance. My drishti is the fulcrum that all the pieces of me balance upon.

In this see-saw life, whether you are up or down, know you can always find balance. Just move closer to the center.

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Ommmm Power: Step in and Own it!

Posted on August 9, 2015 by the.way.i.bee

Written for Nourishing Storm’s monthly theme blog.  Find out what these wonderful folks are up to here.

power

What is power? I think I am starting to understand. Power is so multidimensional and infinitely expansive. The universe has its power over our world, our world has its power over us and we are born with a power all our own. It is all connected. We are connected to all the powers that be yet only in control of that piece which is ours. It is ours and ours alone. But are we ready to own it?

Before we can own our power we must know our power. To get to know our power takes some living; we need to experience our power. Taking ownership can require all the strength we have at times. Are we strong enough? We can’t ever be sure of the greatness of our strength if it has never been tested. And so we must live. We must struggle. We must lose and grieve at times to find our strength. The greatest strength is to go on after losing, to let old wounds heal and to allow love back into our lives.

We can’t do that if we give our power away to the world by blaming it for our troubles. We can’t ever love with our whole hearts if refuse to let go of our pain. And we can’t reclaim our stolen power if we are not willing to take it back or if we deny it was ever ours.

So we live and we learn if we truly are strong enough. I believe we are. It is only a matter of knowing it. If we can carry our troubles around all this time, we most certainly have the strength to live an empowered life. But will we? Do we loosen our grasp on our fears, our self-doubt and our blame? Will we free our hands to grab hold of our power?

It is a choice. And the beauty of this choice is that it is a perpetual one. Each moment presents a new opportunity to choose whether or not to own our power. Even if we have decided in the past it was easier to give it away. Even if we chose not to use our power before because we were afraid of what it could do. We all have been in a place where it was much easier to complain or to hurt than to change or to heal. But thankfully we do not have to stay in these places. There is always time to change. And once we grab hold of our lives, we come to know how truly powerful we are.

 Our power is as unlimited as the power of the entire universe. It all comes from the same infinite source. When we tap into our power, we tap into the power of life itself. Here is where it can get tricky. This power that is ours to have is so great it can change everything. Sometimes that realization has us grabbing back onto our old familiar fears. When we hold our fears we don’t merely let go of our power, we consent to letting our fears guide our way. Our fears tend to lead us in directions that get us nowhere. Inevitably we realize we want to go somewhere. We begin to trust our strength and recognize our own authority in our lives.

So we have our strength and have made our choice to use it. Is that enough to own our power? It is so long as we understand this power was, is and always will be ours to own and that once we decide to take ownership, we alone are responsible for it. Power must be tempered with accountability to be truly great. We can shine our light as bright as the sun all day every day. It is our God-given right to do so. But to know we shined as true as the sun is to know the light we shine is unmistakably our own.

So what do I think power is? Power is taking charge of ourselves. It is choosing to live with our whole hearts fearlessly open to what we love. Over and over again. It is a persistence of character. It is a commitment to being our best and truest selves in each moment. And if we stumble, it is vowing to do better next time. Living an empowered life is perhaps the greatest gift we can offer this world. Truly. It is what we were born to do.

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