The following is a compilation of multiple attempts at finding the heart of my previous post on Desire. I do this for every post, mostly with themes I struggle finding one direction to follow…. So I figured I’d post the free writing – these pieces are my direct writings mostly done after meditation. Showing my work again. So here are the scattered threads I used to weave my piece on desire….and you can see where it led below….
1st session: I stopped listening to my desires and started giving ear to my fears. I lived in the backdrop of my worries. Hearing only what I feared would happen if I did or did not do. Missing the moment happening now and all the possible wisdom it was expressing to me, wisdom possibly imparted for my soul’s journey.
We are funny that way sometimes, right? We get caught up in laying plans based on imagined scenarios, missing the scene actually unfolding before our eyes. Another moment past that we didn’t take our eyes off what may never be to give life our full attention. See the love before our eyes. Always searching for ways to discredit the magic and foresee the tragic in our lives, we miss the signs. The signs each moment brings us to remember our deepest desire for ourselves, our truest intention that leads us to becoming our authentic selves.
Yes plans and sometimes worries are realistic. sometimes. and sometimes there is bliss to be felt right now and we have to give ourselves over to it. don’t we?
When we find ourselves off track, we need only to stop and listen. Our lives are speaking to us in a fluid dance, in rhythm to the beats of our hearts. Coaxing us to let go of what holds us back. Pull our sights from whatever lies beyond, trusting for now the dreams we’ve made for ourselves are out there. then jumping into the dance with full abandon.
That tiny voice in each of our hearts is crooning, open our heart to each moment and amplify, have deep faith and speak graciously of who we love and don’t forget to love everyone. Fall in love with life, be grateful for you – someone capable of making the decision in this moment to live the life you desire from right now.
2nd session: So I’m listening. now. Meditating as I write. Write this free form brainstorm, yes STORM, this wild storm, no clear direction. Just serving as fodder for my real post. Only right now I’m thinking, maybe this isn’t fodder. This process. Maybe I should leave it be what it is. BEcause right now in this moment, I’m inspired and motivated and I’m just going to show all my wild ways of writing, expressing my breakdown of what desire’s voice sounds like on this journey of mine…..
Desires are only meant to be glimpsed, not gazed upon. Glimpsed just long enough to allow our mind’s eye to see it in our lives as real for a moment. Try it on. Tap in. Just a peek to serve as inspiration which will grow to motivation.
Then back to the present moment with trust in ourselves and faith that the world won’t let us down when we go for it. Like in yogic practice, I translate desire like this. Trusting my strength to go for the full backbend with my heart wide open, inspired and attuned to the rhythm of the breath of all life. Present and rooted to the ground, full faith it will always hold me, always support me. That moment, that vibration I feel when I nail my most desired pose. The bliss in attainment that is in harmony with that wild faith and intangible knowing. Faith. Faith rooting my soul in Love. Then I see. I see the love in the world is also the love in myself. It is all good. My ultimate desire. That peaceful bliss, I want it. But how do I attain it? To live in resonance to that ultimate bliss – which for me is that sweet vibration of unconditional love – what must I do?
I tap in to this desire, just long enough to juice up my inspiration and uplift/ignite my heart’s motivation. Then unplug. Let go of my desire for now and be still and listen. In this new moment, with the heart attuned to gratitude for the love in my life right now. Keeping that frequency of unconditional love alive. The only way to expand my heart’s capacity is to open to its leadings. Understanding now with my newest ears that the love I see in the world can only equal the love I share in the world.
3rd session: Desire in practice. Release your grip on fear. If it doesn’t reside in the visceral, if it isn’t rooted in some real danger, it is surviving at much too high of a frequency. Shut that shit down. It’s trying to hijack love’s station or at least it throws some static. Once fear is out of range, be your love. Be you. Be love. Look to desire for direction but follow Love.
4th session: Frequency of desire – strip it to down. If it vibrates at the frequency of love, hold it. If the desire sits in the range of fear, have or have not, or exists and is in tune with some negativity, like a desire for revenge, drop it entirely. It is false desire. It is seductive in its safety or in its satisfaction, but offers no growth, no sustainable truth. If it has resonance with that good good frequency, the universal divine, sing with it. Know the tune of your fear just enough to recognize it and change the dial back to love. Fear can have a catchy tune… don’t listen too long.
Follow the love – live, think, act in accordance with that vibration and tune into your heart’s song until it sinks into your bones, seeps into your soul. Imagine that feeling of attainment but temper it by amplifying the gratitude in the present moment. The imagination when used correctly is full of inspiration. When it connects to the present and doesn’t carry us off to spend our energy on something false. Imagination of a higher frequency, closer to the divine, is imagination used well. Fear at this higher level is always unfounded but powerfully palpable. Fear never serves us well up here.
So desire isn’t bad unless it is. We must discern its truth within us and choose whether we allow it to continue to drive us. It can take us where we want to go. We just need clearness that where we want to go is moving us towards our truth and not away from it…. if i live my truth, there is nothing more to be desired…