Last of July’s blog posts for the free spirits over at PsychicsForetell.

Relationships aren’t easy.  Even the best ones.  Or possibly especially the best ones.

I remember as a little girl believing true love was like rainbows, unicorns and cotton candy.  The more I live, I believe I was right.  Only sometimes it can be more like riding an ill-tempered unicorn after eating too much cotton candy through every color in the world.

Don’t get me wrong.  I believe in soul mates.  I believe in twin flames.  I believe in karmic relationships too.  But I mostly believe in our ever expanding consciousness and that all relationships can serve that purpose on some level.

I do believe in meeting someone and having an inexplicable reaction beyond anything physical. A knowing, if you will, that this person is a part of my story somehow and maybe always has been.  But I do not think any person completes another.  Wholeness comes from within and I believe the truth of a soul level relationship can only be manifested to its fullest when both souls own their individual wholeness.  Otherwise, in my opinion, there is an inequality or a burden placed on one that instead creates a negative karmic relationship.  It is a lot of pressure to put on a body to complete someone else.

As a girl of science, I like to look at relationships like chemical bonds.  Covalent bonds are bonds formed by the sharing of electrons between two atoms.  Ionic bonds have a relationship where one atom has an electron to give and the other needs one, an attraction occurs and the electron is exchanged.  It is still argued on which bond is strongest.  In a vacuum, it requires more energy (like heat) to break an ionic bond while in water, covalent bonds tend to be stronger.  So what am I getting at here before I drift away into science teacher land?

I believe we all are here for continuous growth.  We develop relationships that contribute or challenge that growth.  The bonds we make can be with a mutual sharing of our energies and can create a lasting contentment, like soul friendships.  Or they can be a mutual give and take that stretches us to explore the polarities of our being, like the mirror qualities of a twin flame. Throw in some water, which I associate with the flowing qualities of emotions, or some intense heat (i.e. drama), and the bonds can weaken, break or dissolve.  Sometimes that’s it.  But in some cases, new bonds are formed which I liken to the deepening of relationships, where we withstand the test of the outside elements and evolve with them.

Regardless of the chemistry in our relationships, the bottom line is, is it working for you?  Not –  is it easy? Is it all sunshine and roses? Or is it my fate to settle for this?  But instead, do I constantly feel indebted or drained by this relationship?  Does this relationship build me up with its challenges? Or am I resisting challenges because it is easier to let go?

Whether the relationship is with a soul mate or not, the relationship itself has a soul.  And we need to discern which relationships have a soul worthy of our tending.

I believe all relationships we have serve a purpose on our journeys.  In all our incarnations, we make connections and create karma, which is just a word for action (and remember science –  for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction).  We strive to be whole and complete beings that are aware and conscious of the ways of the universe and along the way, we bond with others.  Some relationships are not meant to last, but only to deliver one lesson, complete some karma or contribute to our growth to another level.  And some, with proper nurturing and understanding, are made to withstand the tests of time.  Ultimately, we as individuals need to give ourselves our deepest love and acceptance first so that we may recognize the difference.