I’ve searched for meaning in books, in music, in nature, just waiting for something to hit me and I’d finally get what it’s all about. All the inspirational texts seem to carry the same message: Love, Compassion, Positive Vibrations, Let Go, Get Over Yourself, Be Good People. It all makes sense and I believe it all to be true. But it doesn’t reveal my purpose.
Every now and then I’d find words that spoke directly to my Truth, this Truth as yet undefined. These words would pluck a soul string and sing in resonance with its tune. And in these moments, I would start to remember something…. the words? The dance? I’d then begin to force myself to remember, dissecting it until the tune was lost. I would be left just on the verge of knowing.
I began to read Dr. Wayne Dyer’s book: Inspiration: Your Ultimate Calling after catching an interview with him on the Hayhouse World Summit’s free web event. I got part way through the first chapter as he explained how an apparent coincidence led him to choose the title. He didn’t go in to what it meant to him but just how he knew it was right. And out of nowhere, or probably out of the greatest somewhere, I heard that familiar tune my soul knows but my mind doesn’t. And for whatever reason, in that space of time, I was able to see that all this time I’ve been looking for the wrong thing.
It was something about the use of the word “calling”. It sang and I understood. Calling holds so much more than purpose. Purpose just seems more concrete and too chosen; where calling is more fluid and deeply understood. Purpose holds a sense of determination and seeks a destination where calling holds a sense of agreement and seeks a path. I let go of finding my purpose and settled into the tune that was calling. I had to find a pen.
When I write, my soul sings its song. I realize so perfectly that it is my calling. With this realization, I don’t envision books deals or fame. I just know I am a writer. It connects me to something divine. My calling doesn’t show me where I’m meant to go; it just leads me there. I have no idea where the path will lead. I only know the way is my own.