One of last fall’s post for my friends over at PsychicsForetell
Our thoughts have patterns. Our thoughts can be made manifest when given our attention and energy. Everything made by man started out as a idea. A formless idea. Our thoughts hold the potential to become something measurable through our actions, our words, and their effects can be seen in our health. Lately I’ve been working on breaking the patterns that don’t serve me well in thought, deed or health.
I have noticed I have a tendency to go a certain way mentally with certain triggers. I’ve slowly been able to identify these triggers as I’ve upped my awareness game through meditation. I’ve learned a lot about myself in silence. I can be quick to anger and overly competitive. I perceive things as a personal challenge even when they aren’t meant to be a challenge (or personal!) at all. It is how my mind works. Anger is just my go to emotion. Maybe it’s just that Aries thing. I take things to a different level in my mind, a level way out of line from the actual situation. I have sometimes feared for my sanity because I go that overboard in my mind. And my anger usual settles into some form of anxiety when left unchecked.
When my mind begins to play out scenarios that get me ready for an imaginary duel or an act of vengeance, I have started to break the pattern using mantra. One of my favorite mantras is Sa-Ta-Na-Ma from Kundalini practice. Sa-Ta-Na-Ma is from Sat Nam or truth is my name. I chose this one as Yogi Bhajan has taught that this mantra can help realign our thought patterns to be consistent with the truth that is the universal consciousness. But I could really do just about anything to redirect my thoughts. I just have been working on truth and integrity so this fit. I recognize the trigger patterns and emotions arising and I begin my mantra, silently or out loud, until I am no longer present with the false emotion. Sometimes it just takes a couple rounds. Sometimes I need to be with it for a little longer.
I don’t want to waste my imagination and mental creativity on imagining ways to beat someone at something or getting ahead of something that may or may not be real. I’ve lived long enough in this body on this earth to know that is a fantastic waste of a precious resource. When I start feeling the anger and competitiveness creep into my internal dialogue, I pause and sit with it for a second. Is it rational? Usually it isn’t or at least not to the level that my Ram brain has taken it. If there truly isn’t a need to feel anger, I’ll start my mantra. If it is a protective anger, I look to use it to ignite an action but nothing more. Anger and I have gotten too familiar in the past so it is important for me to know when the welcome is worn.
As I practice this, I am getting better with simply redirecting as soon as I recognize it. But sometimes I’m stubborn (Aries!), and so there are times I still have to force the redirection. It is what it is. But I have noticed I am much happier than I was when I allowed myself free reign with my anger and the anxieties it brings with it. Since most of the affronts were perceived and not really out there, the anger I’d let grow wouldn’t have a real outlet and would trickle into other areas of life. I’d be a little sharper with the next person I encountered. I’d unconsciously try to pick a fight elsewhere so I could let it out. Or I’d keep it inside and actually feel sick. It is a vicious cycle and a needless one. So I’m breaking it and this is what has worked for me. I’m curious, what has worked for you? Please share below.