Newest post for the fantastic folks at Nourishing Storm. New season brings new classes and foods to the Storm. Go see what’s new and good here.
I awaken now to Spring. I shake off Winter’s dormancy. The spirit of this season invites new growth; in fact, she demands it.
Winter has served me well. I sat with my darkness until I understood it, until I could see its role in my life, until I could be with it with my heart shining and open. Until I could love it.
Somewhere in my darkness I found beauty and strength. Rooted down to the earth, I sat with the lowest form of my being. She was ugly and angry, confused and afraid, raw and real and strong as hell, living in the darkest corners of my soul. She is perhaps the only part of me that could survive this world if the lights went out for good. She is wild and beautiful, but this can only be seen in that certain light that comes from within.
With light shining, I see her digs need a little sprucing. All before, I thought to starve her out. But instead of dying, her hunger pains echoed in every dark moment, when all I had to give was more darkness. I was feeding her fear, feeding her doubt, feeding her anger. Feeding the very things I sought to drive away with more of the same. But I do not want her gone. Her purpose is my survival. When she is healthy, her fear alerts me of danger. Her doubt offers insight. Her anger ignites the passion necessary to stand up when I’m knocked down. But only when she is healthy.
It is impressive that she has grown here in this wasteland on the outskirts of my soul for all this time. While sitting in my darkness I saw the earth out here wasn’t bad at all. It just needed some tenderness. I needed to take care of my dark fields.
I turned over the crusty soil and with fresh eyes, I now study the lay of my land. Here and now, I must map out the landscape of my soul and decide what it is I wish to cultivate in my life.
I amend my soil with an abundance of Truth and Unconditional Love, the fertilizers of an authentic life. In the full sun I sow careful rows of Strength and Integrity, Wisdom and Humility. And in the full shade, I plant the seedlings of Quiet Courage, Compassion and Gratitude. They love the darkness. Their tender leaves can burn when over-exposed to the light. Everywhere, I sprinkle the seeds of Humor, Joy and Kindness like wildflowers to take hold where they may. I work a healthy measure of Forgiveness and Grace and an extra dose of Love into the most neglected soils and leave them fallow for another season to heal. I mulch it all heavily with Patience and water well with Faith.
The work is not finished. There will be weeds to pull. Though, like faults, some weeds will offer medicine for my soul if I study them well. The garden will need more water and mulch throughout the growing season. But that is work worthy of my energy. This work that remains will cultivate other fine qualities of my being just by the very act of doing. Along with the seeds I’ve planted, my work will yield Perseverance, Confidence, and Discipline. And my darkness will no longer be wasted space and my shy, negative self will never again cry out from malnourishment. She will no longer scrounge my discarded scraps, but will sit with me at my table to enjoy the harvest when it comes. She was never afraid of starving in the darkness. That was me. All along, that was me.
So I have planned a garden of sustenance and beauty; cultivated using the finest qualities of the soul – both dark and light. Rooted in Truth and Love, I know I will not go hungry this year.
The Sanskrit word for cultivate is Bhavana. It translates to “calling into existence”. What do you wish to call into existence in your life? All you need lies seeded in your soul, awaiting your heart’s call. So call to it with your most authentic voice. Cultivate the life you desire.
Now is the time to unite the soul and the world. Now is the time to see the sunlight dancing as one with the shadows. ~Rumi