Soul Searching: And I’ll know my song well before I start singing . . .


This was not made by the hands of man, and neither were you, Beautiful.

“Don’t strive to be more than what God made you. . .”

I had to sit with this one for a while.  I found it unsettling.  I’ll never be more? This is all I’ll ever be?  But I realized that’s not what it is saying.  Not at all.

I can be more.  I can strive and put my energy into acquiring new skills or taking on new responsibilities.  But is this time and energy well spent?  Is it better to be more?  Or is it more to be better?

I have excitedly chased opportunities for some outward reward or popular approval.  There have been times when I have known these things I became so invested in weren’t authentically me, yet I continued to strive to accomplish the task.  I have felt pride at achieving these goals.  But in my mind, heart and soul, I find this pride lives in the external.  I know these goals were hastily set for some want for acceptance or driven by my competitive nature.  I realize these goals and ideals are not aligned with my truth.  I am able to discern this in that still and quiet space.  The impostors become obvious.  They are the things I can easily let go of in the silence.

In this I understand my journey.  I know my time and energy are
better spent nurturing that light within.

And so I will work on the things about myself.  I will weed out the things that trip me up.  And I will feed the things that bring me closer to being fully me.  I am no longer in pursuit of things driven by fleeting ideals.  No longer am I carried away by a catchy tune.  I will zero in on my own frequency.  I am in pursuit of myself.  And I think I’m finally starting to catch up to her . . .

About the.way.i.bee

Mother, Wife, Healer, Hopeful Suburban Homesteader. . . Words are my mind's tools; writing, my soul's craft; this circus of life, my heart's muse.
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