So I started out fairly strong and quickly seemed to stall. I need to freely write just to find a starting point again. So excuse me if this is a bit rough. I’m just going to keep typing until I start to develop some direction. . .
I am so easily distracted and quick to turn on myself. The critical me is disgusted with my lack of discipline. How can I manifest any of my dreams if I can’t stay focussed? The softer me says that’s just life. It creeps up on you. It’s never still. And that’s not a bad thing.
There are the glitches like spotty internet connections, summer colds, flooding rains. The unplanned speed bumps. Some of those I can do without. But there are also all these ideas and projects that pull my attention in so many directions. I have classes to take, veggies and herbs to harvest, tinctures to make, a blog to post, a story to tweak. These things that maybe aren’t necessary but call to me and feed me in some way.
And then there are those spontaneous moments that beg me to live them. Moments that just captivate me. Which brings me to my family, my people . . . My people have needs. They need to eat, they need to be places, they need clean undies and they need love and attention. But more than all that, I need them. They are my home. They are my foundation. My sure ground. They are my motivation. They inspire me. I could be content with my life’s pace and activities; happily content with doing the 9 to 5 thing as long as I have my people. And to a certain extent, I am. But oddly enough, it is being so madly in love with them that makes me push myself to be more.
Hmmm. . . sounds like I might have found a starting point.