One from two falls ago for the peeps over at PsychicsForetell.
When I am at a corporate massage gig, I get a lot of people asking if they can help me carry my things. I usually have two bags, my purse and my massage table. I always say no. Usually followed up with something like, “I have a very particular balance I’ve worked out. One thing out of place, and it throws me off.”
It’s true that I have it figured out. I know just how to lean forward enough to grab doorknobs without falling flat on my face with the table on one shoulder and my bags on the other. I know just how to walk without causing too much of a sway that will throw off my gait. I know just how to squat to put it all down without throwing my back out. But when I do put it all down, I can feel the effects of the terrible position I’ve put my back in to maintain that “particular balance”. I know it is too much weight to lug. But it just doesn’t feel right to not carry it all myself.
So much like life. It’s hard to put down the weight sometimes. Even when it is hurting us. We found our way to balance it. It’s become a comfortable contortion, carrying all our familiar pains and fears.
Maybe it’s season that inspires me. The falling leaves. The darker days. The energy shifting down to the unseen roots. There is a rhythm we must honor. And sometimes to do so requires us to let go.